


homecoming

by tatertwitch



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Minor Alistair/Warden (Dragon Age), Old Friends, Reminiscing, Stargazing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26731189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatertwitch/pseuds/tatertwitch
Summary: two old friends watch the stars while on watch together. anders has a confession to make.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> y'all know that glitch in Awakening where instead of showing Anders' approval as Friendship 100, it shows Love 100? I decided to write some angst about that. sorrynotsorry

Nights in the Anderfels are only slightly less unpleasant than the days. The landscape is a bleak expanse of beige as far as the eye can see, broken up only with the occasional ruin or rock or rundown settlement. The heat of the desert eases the tiniest bit, and the sun retreating below the horizon offers a small amount of relief from its harsh rays, but still Lyna's shirt sticks to her back with sweat and her hair is frizzier than it ever has been. She sits as far away from the party's campfire as is feasible to avoid its warmth as she relieves Nate of his watch. He looks almost worse for wear than she does - and he smells worse, too. She tries to shoot him a smile as she settles down, but she's almost certain it comes out as a grimace.

She misses Ferelden. She misses how the grass would always be wet in the mornings, no matter what time of year it was. She misses the snow, and the chill of winter that made sleeping in the aravels with her clan all the sweeter for the shared warmth. She misses waking up early to a grey sky and a fire crackling in the hearth and a mabari snoring by her feet. She misses her big bed in Vigil's Keep, and she misses sharing it with Alistair.

' _Soon_ ', she tells herself. ' _We'll be home soon_ '.

She's shaken by her reverie by Anders emerging from his tent, hair sticking up at odd angles and shirt just as sweaty as hers. He groans and pads over to her, barefoot in the sand, before flopping down beside her on his back.

"Can't sleep?" Lyna asks.

He groans again. "It's too bloody hot. Why is it so bloody hot?"

Lyna snorts and looks him over. He doesn't look much like the man she recruited more than a decade ago - his hair is streaked with grey, his eyes are ringed with purplish dark circles and he's lost weight. The earring is gone, too.

He smiles a lot less than he used to.

She can't blame him, of course. She probably wouldn't smile at all if she'd been through what he had. It hurts her heart to think of the man Anders used to be, how he would pester Nate and joke with Oghren, how he squealed when she gave him a kitten.

She'll never forgive her replacement for making him give up Ser Pounce.

"You're staring," he says to her.

She shakes her head. "Just thinking about the good old days, Anders."

"You sound like an old woman."

"I _am_ old."

"You're 33."

"I feel ancient."

He snorts at that. "Not as ancient as me, Commander."

Her heart twinges again. She gives him a sad smile.

The one he gives in return is even sadder.

"I miss home," she confesses. "I remember when Alistair came to Vigil's Keep for the first time, and we all drank so much that Varel had to get guards to drag us all up to our rooms at sunrise."

"We waited ten minutes before sneaking into Oghren's room to raid his stash. Varel found us all passed out on the floor. I remember."

Lyna huffs a laugh. "The adventures of the Taint Brigade."

Anders chuckles. "I should get Varric to write a book."

"I wonder if it'll do as well as The Tale of The Champion."

They're silent after that, both of them staring at the stars above the desert, lost in their memories. After a while, Lyna looks back over at Anders to see his eyes closed, his breathing steady. She turns to stare at the fire. She knows that things could never be that way again, not with the people that they are now, but for a moment she lets herself imagine they could be. 

She remembers the smiles they all used to wear at the feast table after they came home from a darkspawn hunt or a patrol of the Deep Roads. She remembers whenever her and Alistair slept in for too long and Sigrun would come in to rip the sheets off them, cackling as they shrieked. She remembers sitting by the fire and comparing Dalish legends with Velanna so she could write them down in her journal.

It all feels like a lifetime ago.

"I was a little bit in love with you, you know."

Anders' voice startles her. She thought he was asleep.

She frowns. "What do you mean?"

"When we first met. I think I was in love with you."

"...why?"

He shrugs. "Because you were beautiful. Because you conscripted me to save me from the templars even though you had no reason to trust me. Because you weren't a mage but you treated me like a person. Because you listened when I talked and laughed at my jokes. Because you gave me a kitten."

Lyna stares at him in stunned silence. He looks up at her with those sad, tired eyes.

"Don't worry. I don't feel that way anymore. You're my best friend and I couldn't ask anything more from you. I don't even know why I told you -"

"Anders -"

"But ... thank you for giving me a second chance after what I did to Kirkwall. I know I don't deserve it."

They stare at each other for a moment. Lyna's throat clicks. She reaches over to put a hand on his shoulder.

"You do," she whispers. "You do."

They go back to staring at the stars.


End file.
